this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
