i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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