By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
