Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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