So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
