I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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