What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
