I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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