So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
