wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
