That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
