therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize