Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
