I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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