You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
