i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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