My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
handjob tips. give me some.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
