You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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