well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
