GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
