You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
