dude i'm inner monologue high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
