Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
