Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
