we're blogging at a bar
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Im part way to drunk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
