I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize