is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
