sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
