if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
