i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
