i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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