I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
