Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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