shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
