Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
