I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
