somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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