I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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