I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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