But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
