Are my feet made of real feet?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
