I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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