Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
