Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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