awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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