Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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