yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
