Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
