two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize