that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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