how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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