whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so that wasnt chicken after all
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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