okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
