Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
