Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
