I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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