I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize