There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
