That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
