i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize