i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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