i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We have started to decorate penises.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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