I bet he comes in French.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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