I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
