i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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