The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
