You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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