Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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