So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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