Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
