somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
3pm strippers are depressing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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