Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
