Even the bartender felt bad for me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
