quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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